July 14, 2004
written by Carol Sapol

Dear Mimi and Bubba,

I feel compelled to break a thirty year silence and write to you as I was terribly angry and saddened this week by your letter to my son.

Everyone is given “moments in time” that comprise their life; a very special moment in time was given to both of you and it is incredulous to me as to how you responded.  None of us get to choose the “moments in time” that are handed to us, only the way in which we choose to handle those moments and thereby help to define our lives and our legacies.  You chose to take your “time” to convey selfishness and intolerance instead of unselflessness and love; it has taken me many years to understand that words of love are exceptionally easy to say but actions of love are much harder and have much more lasting value!  You didn’t just squander this time but you threw it away..a chance to know a grandchild, who he is, what he stands for, to be proud of him and share his joy.  Incredulous to me is that no thought was given that these might be the last words you conveyed to him, only of your feelings and not of his; what an incredible legacy to leave on this earth!!

I am not trying to convince you to change your feelings or beliefs but only trying to impart my belief that how you handled it was terribly wrong;  your feelings in that letter did not need to be conveyed to him, you could have just declined to come and wished him well in his life….that would have been sufficient!  He will have many people throughout his life that will hurt him but family should not be one of them.

You are luckier than most people to be handed another “moment in time”, a second chance to come to his reception and celebrate his joy, that is all that is required from you; it is my fervent hope that you reconsider and send a message of true love and tolerance that all of your grandchildren can understand and emulate in their own lives, a lasting legacy to be proud of.


Carol Sapol

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